Indie Kids Suck

The String Quartet Tribute to Gwen Stefani

2007-01-23T11:46:00.000-08:00

Holy shit. The title of this album hit me like a motherfucking truck. The String Quartet Tribute to Radiohead - that I can believe. But this? Holy shit.

Not that I have an intense dislike of Gwen Stefani. In fact, her latest single, "The Sweet Escape," is awesome. On the other hand, her last single, "Wind It Up," was one of the most dreadful of last year, ranking only ahead of every track Fergie's ever been a part of. Also, Stefani had a few good songs on Love.Angel.Music.Baby.

But I'm sure we could do without her sloganeering and spotty lyrics, such as "They like the we dance, they like the way we work/ They like the way that L.A.M.B. is going across my shirt" and "Let me hear you say this shit is bananas/ B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"

That shit ain't just bananas. That shit is whack, Gwen. By the way, your style is pretty hit-or-miss too. But you are still one of the better female pop stars we have, I suppose...

As far as the string quartet tribute, I haven't heard it. I have a hard time imagining anybody hearing it. Gwen is a bit of a fashion mogul, so she should know better than anybody that string quartets are not exactly the in thing, especially among her core fan base - the thirteen year old girls.

This can work for Radiohead, but for Gwen? I'm sorry... dear god, no...

It says a lot that this album can't even be found on amazon.com.

Interscope Bitches

2006-10-17T16:52:00.000-07:00

The Trail of Dead, a band I am not in love with, has leaked their new album, So Divided, onto the internet. Yep, the band did it themselves. Of course, they have had a half decade relationship with their major label, Interscope, and needless to say those gents (read: dicks) aren't too happy about it.

Here's Interscope's comments:

"Where are we going to go from here? All we can really do now is go after the people who have downloaded the album. They may think that they're safe because they didn't get it through one of the more well-known channels, well, let me give a wake-up call to all the illegal downloaders out there on the 'internet underground': We're coming for you. BitTorrent and Soulseek users beware. We know who you are."

Oh, I'm sure everyone is really fucking scared. Hey, Interscope execs, suck my mother fucking conch. I'm not downloading this album because I want it, I'm downloading this album to piss off you Interscope assholes.

No one threatens me and my music people, bitch! Just try and fucking do something.

Oh, Interscope Bitches, I expect I will never hear jack shit from you fucks, but if I do... Bring it on, like the movie, with hot young cheerleaders and shit. I'm down with that.

source: www.trailofdead.org

New Decemberists Club

2006-08-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

Take a good look at Colin Meloy, leader of the Decemberists, and ask yourself why you would want to listen to his music. Maybe you can relate to him. If so, that is a bad situation. But maybe you are merely curious. If so, you know what happened to the cat.

But maybe you think he looks like a geek and a waste of time. If so, this is your chance to make a difference in the world. This is your chance to do something positive and productive, yet also destructive. This is your chance to make a stand.

Stand against the Decemberists. Stand against Colin Meloy. Stand against their bad music and terrible theatrics. Alone we are each but one, but together we are many. Together we are the tide of change.

To start the revolution, I have decided to create a new club:

If you are intereted in joining, all you need to do is to put the image in your signature, on your website, in your avatar, or you can print some out and then hand them to people around town or drop them from planes or whatever. And don't forget to link back to this post to get the newbies informed.

Anyways, you visitors can expect to see more features such as this one in the future.

Excellent Tortoise Concert

2006-08-05T15:27:00.000-07:00

Tortoise is an amazing group of serious musicians who play jazz-influenced instrumental post-rock. I could go on about how talented they are, trying and failing to be prosy, or you could watch this live show (date unknown) and see for yourself.

setlist:

-Strech (you are all right)
-Ten Day Interval
-Swung From the Gutters
-The Lithium Shifts
-Crest
-Seneca

Classic: Clinic - Internal Wrangler

2006-07-28T06:38:00.000-07:00

I thought hard on my first pick for Classic, a feature focused on remembering great albums that may have been forgotten. First experiences are always special in a way, which is why I had to get this right. Browsing for bands, I found many good choices, but not any good first choices. Then I saw it - an album I used to love - lingering before my eyes. I remembered a bunch of crazy guys in doctor scrubs.

Clinic's debut album, Internal Wrangler, is without a doubt their best. The detached, morbid "Distortions" slithers into the listener's very soul. "2nd Foot Stomp" is a raucous party. "DJ Shangri-La" is a creative amalgam of beeps, organ, trains, and birds, leading into the shifting and bizarre gibberish of "The Second Line." "Goodnight Georgie," a quiet and sad song, is just right for ending one of the best albums of 2000.

Walking with Thee and Winchester Cathedral both came to follow, yet neither one sufficed the hype of an Internal Wrangler sequel. And this leaves a very important question - where are they now? As it happens, Clinic is working on their fourth studio album. It is with a heavy heart that I wish them to succeed, but I can't deny my doubts - at least their end result is, if not good, always interesting.

Tracklist for new album:

family
animal/human
gideon
harvest (within you)
tusk (album version)
paradise
children of kellogg
if you could read your mind
jigsaw mind (album version)
interlude
the new seeker
visitations

Indie Kids Suck

2006-06-27T09:07:00.000-07:00

My name is not actually Kip Summers. I am not that lame, but I am pretty lame. Just not that lame - or that cool, depending on how you look at it.

This is a blog about the problems of music today. Pompous reviewers running ramptant, pseudointellectuals touting their elitism at every direction, foolish "rebels" doing exactly what they're told to do. These people are everywhere - they are the mob - and their attitudes stifle the creativity of the world.

The thoughts of this blog will be as unhindered as possible. Hype will not have affect. I will not be pushing bad, unproven bands only to find out they suck. If something sucks, I tell you straight: it fucking sucks.

The genre of people known as "Indie Kids" suck. Punks suck. Metalheads suck. Goths suck. Emos suck.

This blog is designed for music lovers who are not extentions of a cliche.